Screwed.edu
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
