Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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