Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
