matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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