She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
