so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
