And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
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I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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