i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
