My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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