If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
