I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
