mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
