i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I want her autograph on my taint
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
