There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
