fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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