i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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