i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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