Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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