Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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