Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
