Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
