I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
