the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize