You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
