I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
