So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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