Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
