He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
