you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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