i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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