What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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