So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
