love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
