And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
