my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
