We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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