A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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