chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
