Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
