I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
