Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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