Buhtt sex?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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