we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
me + whiskey = a bad person
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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