Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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