I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell