I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry