You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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