Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I agree and I would be an awesome dog