He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?