I hate your face
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
