I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
