guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
