Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
