Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
