Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
