Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
