Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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