"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
