I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize