Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She tied me up with her honor cords...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
