Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
