i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
