Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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