We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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