Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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