then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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