i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
