you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
