This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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