Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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